Almost one year ago my job was, *ahem*, “bugging” me so badly that I quit. On the spot. Only the second time in my life I’ve done that. Under the circumstances, it was an easy decision. It was also a decision that would propel me into a deep, deep season of change. That incident, coupled with a book recommendation from a customer, sent me on an inward journey. A journey that certainly wasn’t easy and is still ongoing. The fall found me job hopping from part time to part time gig. I trained for delivery work at Canada Post and applied at nearly every restaurant in town (All of which turned me down despite extensive experience). As a result, my journey of discovery and self betterment was also balanced by a serious challenge to my self worth. Not to mention financial hardship. All of this, typically, would be the perfect storm to propel me into a deep dark depression. And I will confess, there was a day or two here and there. But unusually, I was positive. Calm. Happy and felt (and feel) great peace. Through literature and endless podcasts I became aware of a lot of self limiting issues I was carrying with me. In many cases I was even allowing them, unknowingly, to direct my life. I set about to reprogram my brain and closely examine some things I had been carrying around for a long time. And most importantly, put the final stranglehold on my ego.
I employed so many exercises and tools to help accelerate my transformation. Meditation, gratitude, exercise and most importantly, challenging myself to do something that sucks everyday so that when I have to do really hard things there is less resistance from my brain. During this time I came to finally understand what it means when people say “you are not your thoughts”. This felt like the final stage (although it may be the first?!) of a long season of change that I began in 2015. I was finally discovering who I am/was. And why I am/was that way. I’ve learned so much. Much of it has been difficult but extremely rewarding work.
7 or 8 months into this journey, I managed to find a job I love at a restaurant that is run by people I respect, who seems to give a shit about their product and its quality. Finally, I was gainfully employed again and could begin chipping away at my seven months of unemployment debt. The fact that the restaurant’s name translates to “to cultivate or grow”, is/was not lost on me. I don’t think it is a coincidence that they were, literally, the only place that would hire me and a place I would find comfort and happiness. After all, I had just spent the winter Odla’ing my self! 
This morning I ran the two bridges in my hood like I do every week. The Broadway and Victoria bridges. As I was crossing the Victoria I thought about how long it took them to rebuild that old, closed down, bridge, how beautiful it is now, how often I use it and that every time I cross it I just love that it’s there. Maybe that seems a little odd, but i appreciate the new old Victoria bridge and it’s place in history. Today I stopped to snap a quick photo on each because I realized that I’ve put a lot of work in building a bridge to my self. It took a long time to get the rust off of it. To stabilize and make sure it was safe. To smooth out the surface and fill in some holes. To make it a useful part of my life again. As of today, I’ve been around the sun 45 times. This morning I woke up with my amazing wife Lisa (YUGE shoutout to Lise because without her support, I wouldn’t be the person I am!). My incredible son, Holden. We laughed and played. Hugged and kissed. Shared smiles. Coffee and “waga”. Had some snacks. Later today I’ll head out to work and enjoy every minute of it. I’ll bring some happiness to the lives of people who, I now know, look forward to seeing me when they decide to go out to spend their hard earned money. In between, I’ll be standing on that bridge I built. Grateful for it. Trying to appreciate it and keep up my maintenance on it. If you’re reading this, I wish you the best of luck in finding whatever you are searching for.
